Over the last three days, my body and mind have been driven to the absolute limits of consumption. I turned 23-years-old on Thursday, January 20, and I have been packing it all in since. Birthday dinners, homemade treats from friends and my girlfriend, and all the birthday drinks I could possibly handle. As I sit in my living room watching Pitbulls & Parolees, after indulging in a large, but glamourous meal at Bob Evans, I wonder how my body has survived.
We will start with day one of my birthday celebration. On Wednesday, around 10:30pm, I went to a hang out with a small group of people and bring in my birthday with company. Shots and beers were heavily distributed around the group and at that point, consuming began. I downed my Watermelon Four Loko and my Almond Joy candy bar with great pleasure. On Thursday, after I got off work at my internship, Annmarie made special pigs-in-a-blanket for me, because she knows how much I adore hotdogs. Key Lime pie, homemade cookies, and strawberry shortcake rolls were all included. On Friday, Annmarie gave me three choices for dinner: Nine Irish, Maru Sushi, and Golden Corral. In the bliss of my birthday, I chose Golden Corral in all of its all-you-can-eat glory. Annmarie and I ate until we barely fit into our clothing. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans, clam chowder, steak, clam strips, hush puppies, fried shrimp of different assortments, spring rolls, and everything in between. It was an unearthly meal with amazing company. Bob Evans entailed a chicken biscuit bowl and fried onion petals—all delicious. Did I mention the two birthday cakes?
This is Bodie Shallenberger, and I am looking forward to returning to my normal diet in fear that my body cannot take the food stress any longer.